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The Perfect Holiday

D Rated PG 96 min

Every holiday season there is a rash of schlocky product aimed at people who lose all reason and live in some sort of Christmas fantasy. Of course, this movie is designed to entertain African-American viewers. Writer/director Lance Rivera calls his film “the first African American ensemble comedy of the season.” Did he forget that in November This Christmas already claimed that distinction?
Nonetheless, all the black stereotypes were in place to make another lame Christmas movie. The characters are as stale as year-old fruitcake, with the obligatory self-absorbed rap artist J-##### (Charlie Murphy) as ex-husband to Nancy (Gabrielle Union) who is dating nice guy Benjamin (Morris Chestnut). In this “ensemble” sitcom world, Nancy’s oldest son, John-John wants a dad for Christmas, so he asks Santa, who happens to be played by Benjamin, to get rid of his mom’s boyfriend (that would be him). Benjamin is trying to win over the boy but is not having any luck. So this sets off the predictable family situation comedy that has been done to death in other black ensembles on television and in the movies.
The sets are over decorated with everything Christmas to further overstate the obvious – this dysfunctional family will solve their problems before Christmas eve, so everyone will be in a warm and cuddly mood for the season. Queen Latifah turns up as a sort of Greek chorus of one – a person with magic powers. Terrence Howard plays a bumbling idiot named Bah Humbug. Director Rivera made sure that every black family issue would be addressed and dealt with during the running time.
Naturally, since some time has passed since Nancy had a date, she is searching for a man to replace her obnoxious ex-husband J-#####, who could care less about his kids. But when he hears that she has a boyfriend, he suddenly shows up at the house to give her his alimony check. Meanwhile, Nancy meets hunk-of-burning-love Benjamin who tells her he sells office supplies, when in fact, he’s working as Santa in a department store. He also is a budding singer songwriter. There is no plausible reason why he lied to Nancy, but it comes back to haunt him when one of his songs is bought by J-##### to put on his Christmas album. Ah yes, this artificial “tension” falls flat, leaving the viewer dumbfounded.
The excrement hits the fan when J-##### finds out that Benjamin, who recorded for his album, is Nancy’s boyfriend. She finds out that Benjamin is a liar at the same time. Now, Benjamin is a sad sack loser in his sagging Santa suit. What a bummer. But wait, there is no way that Rivera is going to allow an unhappy ending in this saccharine comedy. Of course, the hook of the premise is held together by Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union – two exceptionally good looking actors who work well together. John-John who tries to break up Benjamin and Nancy is a bit old to still believe in Santa’s cosmic powers. But when he finds out his dad is a selfish jerk, he wants to reverse his request that Santa intervene in his mom’s love life by staying away from her.
With all the powers invested in her, Queen Latifah intervenes on behalf of Benjamin and John-John. Yes, with viewers high on eggnog eating this schmaltz up, Rivera goes for the jugular by milking every drop of gushing sentimentality from each scene, leaving Chestnut and Union looking like puppets on strings.
As a holiday movie, this film doesn’t even rank as palatable. It’s like opening a present and finding a cheap tie–a bitter disappointment.