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Videogames

I hate to admit it, but I can’t believe how stoked I am that there is a new Rambo in theatres right now. It boggles my mind that I could be excited about such a seemingly meat-headed testosterone fest of a movie. But I am, and even though I haven’t seen it, I know I will probably enjoy it. Sure, I have only seen the first movie so far, (First Blood) but it wasn’t that long ago that I watched it, so it’s still a little fresh in my memory. Something about Rambo takes me back to the old days where we played sub-par videogames that we had no hope of finishing. It takes my mind back to games about men with guns traversing through jungles with guns and grenades, games with helicopters and rocket launchers and overtired guards that ‘feel asleep’. (And for some reason, about stabbing spiders with a pocketknife.)

Rambo
For the Nintendo Entertainment System
I liked this game a lot when I was younger, but looking back I can’t really see why. The cover of the game prominently displays John Rambo firing what looks like a heavy machine gun, but I don’t think I ever fired a single gun while playing this game. Toward the end, I was able to throw some grenades though. Most of the battles featured fights with random wildlife, such as spiders. In Rambo for the NES, Rambo appeared as a skinny white guy in red sweatpants, and he could jump about as high as Mario or Luigi. Not very Rambo-like at all…this game didn’t age well, to say the least.

Rambo 3
Sega Master System
Now this is more like it. In Rambo 3 for the Sega Master System, you control Rambo from an overhead perspective. Much like the earlier game known Ikari Warriors, you progress upward toward the top of the screen, while defending yourself from oncoming enemies with your machine gun and grenades. When fighting boss characters, the game switches to a behind-the-back perspective. In these scenes, you are typically fighting things like helicopters. Don’t worry; it is perfectly logical for Rambo to fight a helicopter, especially in context of this being a videogame. It’s fun, too. Not only that, but the graphics in Rambo 3 are far superior to those found in the NES games of the time.

Contra
Nintendo Entertainment System
For me, Contra was like Rambo vs. Aliens. Sure, there was no Sgt. Ripley, but you had dudes with big guns running through the jungles shooting aliens that LOOKED like they were taken right from the movie Aliens. So yeah, instant awesomeness. The game was frickin’ hard, too. I rarely finished it without cheating. Not only that, but the cover had artistic renderings of two mercs that looked a hell of a lot like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, and at the time, nobody filled people with bullets better than those guys. (Protip: In case you don’t have it memorized, to get 30 lives in Contra, press this on the title screen. – Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. And since we are on the subject of memorized codes, type this in to get to Mike Tyson in Punch Out! – 007 373 5963. You’re welcome.)

Ikari Warriors
Basically, this game is what Rambo 3 seems to be based on, but with a more futuristic approach. Scroll upward, throw grenades, and shoot bad guys. Lots of fun. To cheat, just press A, B, B, A during gameplay.

Metal Slug Series
Games Available on: Arcade/NeoGeo MVS, Wii, Xbox 360, PS2 This popular series of games is known for its strict difficulty and constant side-scrolling action. With numerous sequels and ports, it’s hard NOT to have a console to play Metal Slug on. Basically the same idea as Rambo, pick a character and traverse through the jungles rescuing POWs. Metal Slug tends to be a little over-the-top and comical, but the charm of the game is to no detriment to the action. The most recent release was on Xbox Live Arcade, so check it out.

Metal Gear
Nintendo Entertainment System
Years before Solid Snake was sneaking around performing ‘tactical espionage action’ on your Playstation, he was charging around through the jungle and punching enemy soldiers to death in their sleep. Yup, I said that correctly. While using an annoying radio system to pick up plot lines and suggestions on what to do next, your character trudges through a jungle base in order to stop the evil ‘Big Boss’. You don’t start the game with any weapons, so you have to pick these up along the way. Though not as much of a run-and-gun title as the previously mentioned games, you’ll still get that same warm fuzzy feeling when disposing of the bad guys.